WFMW – Backwards Day

October 2, 2007 at 8:32 pm (Works For Me Wednesday)

Wfmwheader
It’s backwards day at WFMW so we’re supposed to ask for tips instead of give them.

So, anyone have tips on how to teach your 8 year old conflict resolution skills so he doesn’t end up spending his birthday in the principal’s office for hitting a kid? Anyone?

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6 Comments

  1. Overwhelmed With Joy! said,

    Yikes! I don’t know. We’re dealing with occassional hitting from our 2 1/2 year old and what we do with him is crouch down to his level, look him in the eye and tell him, “Hitting is not nice! It hurts me when you hit. Say you’re sorry!” Then we wait until he apologizes before dropping it.

    For an 8 year old, I guess I’d need more info on what’s prompting him to feel as though he has to hit. Is he being picked on by another kid? Is he angry about something else and hitting is a way of releasing that anger? Has he attempted to talk rationally through the problem first with the child he’s hitting?

    I just don’t know. Sorry. Good luck! I’ll be back to see what others have to say.

  2. Kathy in WA said,

    Role playing – try out some different conflict resolution ideas through play acting.

    Scripture memory – pick one or two key verses and help him practice meditating on them during times of anger.

    Let him learn through natural consequences. Maybe he needs to learn the lesson of spending his birthday at the principal’s office.

    Good question!

    Duckabush Blog

  3. Elizabeth said,

    If someone is bothering him he needs to tell an adult. He also needs to tell you and you need to follow up with his teacher. Help him out if he needs it.

    Is there just one child he’s hitting? He needs to be away from that child. We all have personality conflicts, and again, he needs a helpful adult to step in.

    Is he really and truely old enough to be in the grade he’s in? If he’s in a class where anyone is a year older than he is, he may be young and frustrated. Being bright does not mean that one has to rush.

    If he hits someone for any reason, though, he needs a very serious negative consequence from you. No TV, no video games, whatever, for the day, possibly the weekend. Don’t randomly “ground” him, be specific and keep it short. A week is way too long. If there is a special event he may need to miss it.

    If a child has a long punishment he may just give up for awhile. It’s good to be quick and serious so that he is able to turn over a new leaf almost immediately.

    Set a positive goal! A day, two days? with no hitting gets him something he wants. A drive-thru treat after school? A new book? A birthday cake:-) Tell him over and over again how proud you are of his self control. Let him know that you understand how difficult it can be to keep your hands to yourself, but it feels so good to stay out of trouble!

    Yep, been there, done that, and it’s all good now.

    He can do it:-)

  4. Stacey said,

    I don’t really know what to say. It honestly sounds like you’re taking the steps you need to already. I’ll be thinking and let you know. Hang in there!

  5. monica said,

    A wonderful mom in our homeschool group taught my children from the Young Peace Makers curriculum (I believe they have a website). It was wonderful and taught them some very useful and biblical skills for dealing with conflict resolution. It has carried over into so many situations in our lives and continues to be what I refer to when we are dealing with reacting to others.

    It’s kind of cheesy, but the kids really grabbed a hold of it. I am considering doing a class in our home next summer.

  6. Phil Rhodes (Julie's bro) said,

    Did the other kid hit back? If not, conflict resolved! LOL.

    Noah’s uncle.

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