Stupid Travel Comments

September 1, 2007 at 9:58 pm (Fun)

We got lighten the mood around here 🙂 Found this today and got some good laughs…

25 "Stupid Traveler Comments" (along with the bemused agents’ unspoken responses). (FULL STORY) By John Frenaye

  • How
    can I leave Baltimore at 8:30 a.m. and get to Chicago at 8:35 a.m. when
    the flight takes an hour? (The plane flies really, really fast.)
  • Do I need to carry on my carry-on bags or can I check them? (Why not check yourself and let the bags have the seat?)
  • When am I going to receive my paper copy of the electronic ticket? (Uhm, what part of the word "electronic" has escaped you?)
  • Well,
    how will they know who I am if all I have is my photo ID? (Uhm …
    ma’am, you forget we have the TSA manning security now.)
  • How
    much is a train to Jamaica? (We are sold out, but if you call Amtrak,
    they have space. Be sure to ask for a seat on the left side of the
    train so you don’t miss the Lost City of Atlantis on the way down.)
  • What language do they speak in England? (Swahili. Would you like to purchase our "Learn Swahili in 10 Easy Steps" manual?)
  • The
    water is murky. I did not come to Jamaica to swim in murky water. (As I
    recall, a Category 4 hurricane just pelted the island and yet you
    insisted that you had to go. Right?)
  • The
    hotel would have been fine but all the employees were speaking Spanish.
    (The next time you are in Mexico, we will order some French-speaking
    Mexicans for your convenience.)
  • Does the water go all the way around this island? (Not on Tuesdays.)
  • Is Canada still the largest state? (They seem to think so.)
  • Is this a wide-body plane? (Yes.) Good, because my mother has a big butt. (I imagine this was followed by a swift upper cut.)
  • Don’t they take American Express? (No, in China they take only French francs, but we still need to get you a visa.)
  • Why do I need to change clothes in Chicago? (Planes, ma’am. Planes. You change planes in Chicago.)
  • Do these stairs go up? (Not this set, sir. The up stairs are on the lower level.)
  • How do they get power to the ship? (Very long extension cords.)
  • Do you know what time the midnight buffet starts? (They are cutting costs, so now it is offered between 4:30 a.m. and 4:35 a.m.)
  • Does it rain in the rain forest?
  • Will the 24-hour café be open if I need to get a bite at 6 a.m.? (Ask the woman in line for the midnight buffet.)
  • Where
    is the best spot to watch the fireworks in London on the Fourth of
    July? (Come on, Yank. Just think about this for a nanosecond.)
  • My
    friend told me about a great hotel in Italy and it begins with a "B."
    (I know exactly which one it is. Can I have your credit card please?)
  • I
    am a vegetarian. Do they have vegetables in Kenya? (It is a strange
    thing in Africa, countries with two vowels in their names are
    vegetableless. It is just like some dry counties here in the United States.)
  • I am an advanced beginner rider. (Would that be "beginning to be advanced," or "advanced for beginning"?)
  • Please send a quote for a weeklong Costa Rica package with adventure in the jungle. (One helicopter drop coming up.)
  • Do I need a passport to go to Hawaii? (No, just a clue.)
  • If
    I convert $1,000 to the local currency, how much is it in U.S. dollars?
    (Sir, the Wharton School is on the line for you. They have an opening.)
Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. Jenny said,

    Thanks Julie, I really enjoyed these for a good laugh and there are a few that I was very familiar with from my airplane days!

  2. Tina said,

    Here’s your sign!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: