The Rubber Band Diet

April 5, 2007 at 6:07 am (Fun)

So it seems like every time you turn around there’s some new diet. The Atkins Diet, the Grapefruit Diet, the South Beach Diet…

My new years resolution this year was to lose a few pounds (and I do mean few) but mostly to get in shape. We joined a gym and we had a free consultation with a personal trainer who outlined the many ways he could torture improve my body fat count, etc. For the bargain price of $400/month I could get once-weekly personalized training sessions and I’d be whipped into shape in no time.

Today, I found a new approach. It’ s much cheaper, there’s no sweating involved, no big hairy guys giving you the "once over", and very little pain.

It’s called The Rubber Band Diet…

Seriously, the pounds should melt away because this is what my mouth looks like now. See how wide it’s opened? (Not my lips – that’s purely for picture purposes, but the distance between my teeth). That is about how wide I can open my mouth. I was going to say that it’s wide enough for a straw but I tried that and it’s not.

Truth be told, the rubber band in the middle – the one that goes from the bottom, across the top 2 center teeth and back down – I only HAVE to wear that at night. Of course the more I wear it the faster the treatment.

If just the two side rubber bands are on I can open my mouth wide enough for a straw or a spoon, but barely. I now carefully weigh how hungry I am against the effort involved to decide if it’s worth it or not.

All this for the bargain price of $228 a month. Well actually that’s to get the teeth straightened, the diet plan is an extra bonus. I’ll let you know how much weight I lose in the next 4 weeks.

P.S. That is NOT a pimple in the bottom left corner! That is a mole!

(DISCLAIMER: Pimples appear in other locations, not pictured.)



  1. Stacey said,

    I finally made it over here… wow, that’s one up close picture of your mouth! I think your teeth are looking great.

    I love the rubber band diet though! I’m gonna try that after my pregnancy is over 🙂

  2. Jen said,

    That is the BEST! ahahahaha Oh I so feel for ya!

    You can market this diet and be a kajillionaire!! You are so brave to take a close up photo like that!! Oh and I love the reference to the mole NOT being a pimple. So great! It defitely looks like a mole!

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