Kisses from my children

January 21, 2007 at 9:00 pm (Parenting)

Kissing your kids is automatic. It’s something that is done without much thought 99% of the time but each kiss is filled with love!

So imagine not being "able" to kiss one of your kids? At least not without dire consequences.

You see, at about age 3 our oldest, now 7, began to be greatly distraught whenever we kissed him. No, not in your normal "how embarassing" kind of way but in a "that REALLY annoys me" kind of way. It was even worse with grandparents and other people that only saw him occassionally. It was about that time that we were learning that he has Sensory Integration Disorder and that many kids with SID cannot tolerate light touch, especially that of something like a kiss. So I stopped pushing it and let him set boundaries.

He still likes hugs, the harder the better. So everyone is allowed to give him hugs. But if you try to kiss him you get karate chopped-gently (his punishment). I have found that I am allowed to give him very loud, hard, smacking-sounding "ear kisses" right in front of his ear. So when I desperately need to kiss him I give him a great big one of those. Or sometimes I just do it and suffer the consequences 🙂

Our sweet 4 yr old daughter could not BE more opposite. She LOVES to give kisses, multiple kisses. She’ll kiss you over and over and over. Accompanied by great big hugs. It’s as if God knew we needed some extra kisses in the house.

Someday, when Noah doesn’t think girls have cooties, I suspect the no-kissing rule will change 🙂


1 Comment

  1. katherine @raisingfive said,

    I think it’s interesting that all kids have their boundaries. My 9 yo is always wanting to kiss on the younger girls and they all hate it. I think it is that she gets into their personal space. I tell her to wait until she’s invited, then it won’t seem so threatening to them. Sounds like your “ear kiss” is getting pretty close to an invitation – I’m afraid I’d be suffering a lot of consequences because we are huggers and kissers around here!!

    BTW-I hear you about the mentoring thing. I think you are right – it can’t be forced, but you CAN cultivate a climate for mentoring. That’s what we hope to do here…

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